Monday, November 27, 2006

Talk of Loins and Salmon

Last night we went to the Golden Griddle as a post-funeral meal, and it quickly became evident to everyone that this was a poor decision on our part. At 7:00pm on a Sunday we had the whole restaurant to ourselves, apart from a grandmother with teenage girls with her, one of whom never removed her ipod headphones the entire meal, and a older man, all of whom left shortly after we arrived.

As an aside I'd like to think my grandparents would kick my butt if I ever tried to listen to headphones during dinner. No matter how bad the musak was (and it was BAD) with the fake instrumental track and the saxophone covers of adult contemporary hits, and how brutally loud it was (perhaps it was just me?), I'm pretty sure headphones are verboten at the table.

I quickly began to recall the last time Dave and I went to the golden griddle (known as the golden girdle in this house) it was less than stellar, but we needed a quick meal last night because his brother was playing hockey later that night and we were going to watch.

We were looking over the menu, wondering what to order, when Dave's mum and I both saw this (First column, near the bottom):

I really like salmon. It's healthy (that is to say when it isn't covered in hollandaise sauce), good brain food, lots of Omega3 fatty acids. This was even wild salmon, better than the farmed variety.

What I don't get is what cut of salmon is the loin? Perhaps Pacific salmon have evolved to the point that they have loins (which evolved into us having a conversation about chicken loins) and walk upright, and maybe then they might have loins.

Despite what was obviously a doomed idea from the start idea, we decided to ask our waitress about the salmon and their loins (what can I say, our curiosity was piqued). Dave's mum politely asked what part of the salmon it was and the waitress helpfully pointed out "um, it comes out like salmon" putting her thumbs and forefingers together to make a filet shape. A couple of us tried pushing a bit further, but it became obvious that only served to frustrate both the waitress and us so the subject was quickly dropped and we steered clear.

I still don't think that salmon have loins. They have filets, steaks, but no loins.

I'll be good enough to give you more advise you didn't ask for. Should you be about to dine out at the golden griddle, and have no option available to you to go elsewhere, I might I suggest you not order the chicken parmigiana unless you have a ten foot pole. For my money there's nothing worse than over-boiled noodles that have turned to mush, aren't drained properly, tomato sauce sans basil, and pre-formed chicken, and this had all four kitchen disasters wrapped into one. Truly a perfect storm of bad food. Definitely a miss and not a hit.


ccap said...

Yeah, I'd have to say I have nooo idea what a salmon loin is. shudder.

mamatulip said...

Sounds fishy to me.

roro said...

This made me laugh so hard I nearly spit out my loin of toast.

I believe our nickname for the Golden Griddle is the "Shitty Griddle". For, as you know from lawyering, a vague disclaimer is nobody's friend.

shoesonwrong said...

I admit (with pink cheeks) that I probably would have started leaning around to talk to strangers at other tables about these so called salmon "loins". And it probably would have involved me drawing a horribly bad picture of a salmon and asking people to point to where they think the loins are.

I /think/ that salmon loins may be part of some terrifying communist plot.

Heather said...

ccap: I'm not sure I ever want to find out.

mamatulip: That was totally the pun of the day!

roro: hah loin of toast! You're even funnier on the left coast. Shitty griddle is an apt moniker.

shoesonwrong: if there were other people in the restaurant I'd have been happy to conduct a similar poll, but we were the only ones. Thanks for stopping by.

petite gourmand said...

too funny.
salmon loin...
We've only ever been for breakfast.
And that was nothing to write home about either.

Heather said...

petite gourmand: Agreed.

metro mama said...

Hee! I think I'd stick to pancakes.