Sunday, May 07, 2006

Another 'shwa moment

I've got a slight tonsil infection (I get enough of them to know what it is right away) so when we woke up Saturday morning we decided to splurge and go out for breakfast.

We ended up at the Golden Girdle* after realizing the local haunt we planned to hit wasn't open for another few minutes.

To put it mildly this buffet was badly organized. Half the time there weren't any plates to be had.

It takes a special kind of stupid to put the syrup next to the fries, several trays before you actually reach the waffles or pancakes. It's also pretty craptacular when you don't actually have any pancakes at a breakfast buffet. The whole time we were there were no pancakes to be had. They brought five waffles out every 20 minutes which meant the sixth person in line (and everyone else for the next 20 minutes) wouldn't be eating any waffles. It was leading the most calm of people to get pretty ticked. One smart dude said after checking out the buffet that he was ordering from the menu. If only we'd been that smart. The people who were lucky enough to get waffles had to back track to find the warm apple goo and syrup, rubbing it the yummy waffle smell in the nose of the sixth person who didn't get any.

There were those smiley faced fries there too, which I've always wanted to try. Unfortunately they're oven fries that are designed to be baked in an oven. Deep frying them will make them soggy and leave them dripping with grease. That was a taste I care never to repeat.

They did have some fruit though - watermelon that had been cut up a couple of days before and was dry on the surface. The omelette bar, though, was good.

The busser for the tables was so efficient that she took our plates, glasses full of water, and cutlery before we were even done, and we had to wait another 15 minutes while our food chilled to get any utensils.

The 'shwa moment came at the end of the meal. En route to the buffet noticed a dude who had "mom" and "dad" respectively tattooed on the tricep of either arm (though no definition was visible to the naked eye) of each arm. I could still smell fresh ink he had so many tattoos. He was sitting there with two boys who were thoroughly enjoying playing with their food and throwing it at each other. I'd bet money he was a weekend dad.

As we were leaving Dave was a few paces ahead of me and we walked past the dude again. He now had his shirt open revealing more fresh ink and a freshly shaven chest, complete with the orangey glow of fake tanner.

As I walked past him he looked me up and down in that gross "oh man I'm gonna need to bathe after this" way, and the moment I passed him he muttered in a low, emphatic voice "ssweeeeeeeeeet." Evidently he approved.

I don't think we'll be eating there very soon.

*yeah, I know it's the Golden Griddle but calling it the Golden Girdle is my reminder that I'll need to wear one all the time if I eat there very often.


sunshine scribe said...

So funny. That was a sweeeeet post.

I go to the Golden Girdle only about once a year and am always reminded why I only go there about once a year...

roro said...

LOL. Oh, Heather. I'm sorry your breakfast blew (although if things don't work out with your fiance, good to know you have some "other options". Sweeeeeet, indeed.) That's why my girlfriend and I call it the "Shitty Griddle". Not very imaginative - but sometimes accuracy is more important.

Hope your tonsils heal soon!

Heather said...

Sunshine: I only go there annually too and have the same crappy experience. Hopefully this time the lesson will have stuck and I won't go back.

Roro: If that's my "other option" I'm totally switching teams. Shitty Griddle is another great moniker. At least when I was single I could blame tonsil infections from kissing too many boys.