Rhett is the kinkiest number that we've ever seen... (sung to "One is the loneliest number")

So it turns out Rhett the cat is the kinkiest member of our household. I found this out yesterday, during his usual "wake up I'm hungry!" stomp on top of us in the bed where he meows, purrs loudly, flops, kneads his paws, etc on us. As per usual, I let him sleep on me for a while, and when he wouldn't stop giving me a breast self exam I politely shoed him away.

After the wake-up call I gave him, he decided to lie on Dave's side of the bed, purring loudly enough of course that we could still hear him if we were 50 feet away. We were both in the stage of "barely waking up" since Rhett starts this routine about a half hour before our alarm goes off.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Rhett rubbing against Dave's hand, being all cute. Dave quickly draws the line when Rhett pulls out the teeth (he bites random things when he's hungry, the list of which has included us, phone books, toothbrushes, eye drop bottles, TV remotes, pretty much anything he can find). Now, our programmable thermostat hadn't kicked in (since it starts the furnace at the same time our alarm goes off) so it was cooler in the house. What does Rhett do? When he lost the option of going for Dave's hand, he saw a nipple and went straight for it! All I heard was the sound of Dave yelping and Rhett hitting the ground with a thud. I don't think either of them knew what hit them.