Round two with Toothless Mary

The three regular readers of this blog may or may not recall our earlier incident wherein another dog owner we've decided to name Toothless Mary, has the unendingly annoying habit of walking her dog on a 40 foot rope so that anyone around will be tripped by it or have their pants ruined. I happened to have been a victim a few weeks ago.

So tonight, while I discussed the finer points of making lawyers cry with Sara, lawyer extraordinaire, Dave went to the dog park with our dogs, nicknamed by us Captains Wanderpants and Spazzo respectively. No, that's really not their names, but it's more fun for the purposes of the story.

Wanderpants, as his name suggests, has a habit of buggering off despite clear instruction to the contrary. This includes the low toned "get back here!" which I think he hears to mean "waah wah wah whaaah wah" just like the teacher in Charlie Brown. Borzoi as a breed really could give a rat's ass about what you think. They're not like the lab in temperament who are only too thrilled to take the opportunity to please their owner. It's like training cats. Most things you say to them are taken as "suggestions." (Yes, we should put more effort into it, Yes they're worth it, Yes, we're bad dog owners.)

The dog park itself is basically a conservation area with trails through it, so you're traveling around different meadows, with trees on one side or all around you. The whole idea of the park is to get them both socialization and exercise. They really need to get a good run in every day, and the park is perfect for it.

Unfortunately, Wanderpants has been especially wanterpants-ey of late. He often sees a chipmunk, squirrel, or a leaf wafting on the wind that he finds particularly interesting and will bolt after it. They're sighthounds, that's what they do. His brother Spazzo is less wanderpants inclined.

So, tonight at the park Wanderpants starts with this "chase possibly inanimate object into deep recesses of the dog park forest" routine and Dave yells "GET BACK HERE" after him.

No response.

Dave decides a new trick to yell "SIT" given the underwhelming success "get back here" seems to garnish.

All of a sudden a light bright enough to illuminate the deep recesses of hell must have gone off in Wanderpants' brain and this 100 lb dog who normally takes a few seconds to hover his bum to the ground because of the length of his legs throws bum to ground so fast he skids on the forest floor several feet, and leaves are stuck to his bum fur. Victory!

Dave then goes into the forest, comes out with a leashed dog and on they continue.

Up ahead though is our nemesis, Toothless Mary. (dun dun dun!) She again has her husky on a 40 foot rope trailing behind, just waiting to trip unsuspecting people and ruin their pants. We're both avid non-smokers, so when he sees her light one up he decides not to catch up to the group, and just walks behind with Wanderpants on the leash, and Spazzo playing with the other dogs.

Dave oh so passive aggressively decides to position the leashed Wanderpants so that he frequently is stepping on Toothless Mary's rope, which she is bothering to hold this time. (Before she'd just left it to dangle rather uselessly.) Now, every few feet Wanderpants steps on the rope, jerking it back in her arm.

The dirty looks Toothless Mary shot at him, combined with the hilarity of the "sit" incident will leave a smile on his face for at least the next 24 hours.

Dog park drama

Dear Toothless Mary (of dog park fame),

I'm really sorry I don't know your real name, and I'm also a little bit sorry I picked such a mean-spirited moniker to apply to you, but it's really stuck since we first saw you at the dog park and neither Dave nor I can call you anything else at this point, even if we did know your real name.

First, I love the way I can usually smell you before I see you. Sometimes a wee nip in the evenings is no big deal but last I checked dog walking really isn't what you'd call a conventional drinking activity. Kudos for thinking outside the box on that one! Maybe you could drink peppermint schnapps like my grade 12 teacher so people will think it's scope!

I'll get to the point of this letter. Sure your dog is cute, but walking an active husky on a 40 foot rope? Not such a great idea. I get that huskies run away. Heck, any dog can run away, but attaching a 40 foot rope to your dog? That's not a solution. All it does is get caught on things, get dragged through the mud (you'll notice it's been a wee bit rainy of late).

Also? It really wouldn't stop the dog from running away from you because you rarely have the other end of the rope. See, a fail safe system would involve you holding the end of the rope. It's kinda like kite flying - useless unless you're still holding the string. The only way you could get him if he ran away would be to hope he got less than a 39 foot lead on you.

And, beyond not really being a solution, I'll tell you it's not exactly safe. Since you sport the combination of boozey and toothless that leads me to approach you with stereotypes (totally not fair, I agree), I'd be happy to explain why to you.

You'll notice the dog park we both use is full of both people and dogs. And, funny enough, as a fairly social place, both tend to congregate together.

You'll also notice that, since dogs are pack animals, and people are social too, it can lead to problems when one of those dogs is on a 40 foot rope. Dogs, when they congregate together do things like run around their owners. And the other dogs. This is where I take issue with the "dog + 40 foot rope" combination.

After an incident the other night I have to say a pattern is emerging.

This summer, I saw you and your dog + rope combo standing around in a group of people with their dogs. I kept walking with our dogs but witnessed something that bothered me. Your dog was running around with his rope up getting caught around a little girl's feet, causing her to fall and leaving some rope marks on her ankle. Now, in the scheme of things that's really not THAT bad, and, since I wasn't her parent I didn't say anything because I kinda figured it was her parents' job.

But last night? Come on. It was the same freaking thing! Only I was the victim! When your dog ran around the group we was standing in, wrapping the rope of a running husky around my legs. Now, there was no blood, but I have to say the rope of a running husky around one's ankle? Not a pleasant experience. The mud that's now all over my pants? Well they weren't good pants, because I knew I was going to the dog park in them, but seriously! I now have to launder them and hope the mud comes out because you think it's appropriate to have your dog run around on a big giant rope.

And, I have to say it kinda got my goat that you didn't bother to say "oh I'm sorry" or anything.

You're the owner. If your dog isn't socialized enough to stick around you, then perhaps you should invest in a leash and walk the dog in the park that way, or, you should not bring your dog to the park. There has to be some solution between "dog running away" and "injuring other park users."

So, I really didn't say anything last time, but next time? Not sure I'll keep it to myself.

Sincerely,

Cranky vonMuddypants