Life in the 'shwa

Dear Air Conditioning Repair Dudes,

We called you because it was a bajillion degrees outside the other day, and, funny enough our A/C (the one that came with the house and is practically new and was given a clean bill of health by two different inspectors less than a year ago) wasn't working.

So, you get here, you putz around, tell us it's the thermostat within 15 minutes and leave with our cheque for $100. Gee thanks. So very helpful of you. You want $300 to find out what's wrong with the almost new thermostat? I think we'll pass, thanks.

Dave then spends the entire afternoon playing "which wire goes where" on our lovely programmable thermostat, but still! No workey!

We think "maybe it's the thermostat itself!" even though it's only a few months old. Return it to crappy tire and try a replacement one, but funny enough, still no workey.

Buy an entirely new thermostat, thinking maybe it's the brand. Install it. Still no workey! Blood pressure rising.

We call again about the whole "100% customer satisfaction guarantee." Yeah, not satisfied here. In fact, highly dissatisfied. I'm no rocket surgeon, but after two new thermostats, I'm guessing it's not the thermostat. Thanks for the misleading information though, which led to us spending two days trying to get three different thermostats to work! We have nothing better to do, really!

You say you'll happily send someone to repair it and all will be tickety-boo within 4 hours. Great! We like tickety-boo.

We wait, not leaving the house lest someone shows to give us AC again. After five hours, we call. It's dark out. Is someone coming or did we just waste an entire night waiting around for nothing? After 11:00pm someone called and said they'd come tomorrow, while neither of us are home. Thanks jackasses!

So far this story doesn't have an ending where the AC works yet. But, it may end in some punchey punchey if it's not fixed tomorrow.

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And, not to start a theme with every post about me somehow injuring myself, but I'm a klutz. And, everyone likes to laugh at the klutz. Be forewarned, though. The loveliness and excitement of owning a sleek black Starfrit Supreme Slicer should NEVER cloud your judgment when using it. This will lead to situations where you are excitedly slicing zucchini to grill lovingly on the BBQ, basted with olive oil and salt, and decide to slice it JUST ONCE without the fancy guard on it to see how it works. This excitement WILL LEAD TO DISASTER. The directions even say, in several languages, that you shouldn't even think about using it without the handle to hold whatever you're slicing.

Dave now calls it the manicure machine. Luckily I have all my digits, but one of my fingers will be hurting for a few days. I'm starting to think the blog should be subtitled "public confessions of a klutzy moron."

But MAN does grilled zucchini (two colours of it!) taste wicked good, and it was totally worth the pain. I was so excited at how much nicer the zucchini turns out when you use the fancy-pants machine that I made oven fries, which were also wicked good if I do say so myself. I was so excited I bought yams today to I can make my wicked cajun lime sweet potato fries. Yeah, 'cause turning on the oven for forty minutes when it's a bajillion degrees outside and your A/C isn't working is a GREAT idea.


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I can now officially confirm that writing 40 thank-you notes for wedding shower gifts and printing and addressing wedding invites, reply cards, and directions for 150 people WILL turn your brain to a wet, chewed up newsprint consistency, and, not being able to find one measly envelope you know you've addressed or a roll of stamps will lead to an urge to punch things and/or cry. I don't recommend anyone try it. But, glad to have those monkeys largely off our backs!