Mixed messages

I was in a car accident in August of 2000, a backseat passenger in a car that rear-ended one car, then was rear-ended by another one. Before the accident I was fairly fit and healthy - after the accident I gained a good deal of weight. The pre-accident, post-accident change may have been more subtle, but the way I perceive it, I went from fit and healthy to overweight, and it felt like it happened overnight.

About a year of being overweight, feeling unhealthy not looking after myself properly, and, I won't lie, being unhappy with my appearance, I decided to do something about it. I didn't notice how much the weight crept on until I saw photos of myself and was shocked at my appearance. Certainly there are different views about whether "fat" and "unhealthy" go together, but I felt both (yeah, social constructs about "fat" may have played a role there).

I'd always eaten relatively healthy, but I upped it a notch, and started paying more attention to what I ate. I started exercising more- whether it was just walks along the waterfront, running, or using a nordic track I bought cheaply off someone who had used it for the last 10 years as a convenient clothes rack. All little steps to try to get myself moving, feeling better, and back to a healthier weight for my frame.

In time I lost about 60 lbs. It was gradual, and slow (though there are periods that I lost the weight quickly, and frustrating periods where my weight was stagnant) and I felt better, more in shape and more like myself. I maintained that weight loss for about a year, and in the last year I've gained a bit back (hence Dave kicking my butt on a run this morning).

I'd be lying if I told you I don't have a host of body issues that could stretch to the moon in 8 point font, single spaced, but I don't feel as badly about myself as I did at my worst. Being told that I'm beautiful and gorgeous by my husband several times a day doesn't hurt, but I don't fully believe it myself. So, with that little backgrounder on me I thought I'd share an article I read in the paper this morning gave me serious cause for concern. It's worth a read.

I understand that people who are truly, morbidly obese and who are putting their health at risk because of their obesity can benefit from gastric bypass surgery. It's certainly not without its risks, but I have no doubt it can make a big difference for the right candidate. I also know it's not a shortcut, and it does require some serious work to lose weight with gastric bypass surgery. It is also a permanent condition and drastically changes how people can eat, it requires they take vitamins to ensure their bodies are nourished, and it has the possibility of severe side effects, up to, and including death.

Another form of the surgery is an adjustable gastric band surgery, where the effect is similar to a bypass (ie small stomach, can't consume too many calories) but it's achieved through a band that reduces the size of the stomach instead of stapling a new smaller stomach together.

The article that gave me serious cause for concern is talking about a 17 year old girl (because, while I thought I was an adult at 17, I really wasn't) who is only slightly overweight getting a laproscopic band.

Now, to be fair there are fewer incisions, and it's less drastic, but it's still life altering surgery, which with it comes serious potential for things to go wrong.

What bothers me is not only that she's only slightly overweight, but that it seems as though it's a first resort solution when the other work just seems too hard.

I may be reading into it too much, but the article details how she's tried dieting but just gains the weight back, and that it's not a chemical problem for her (ie she's not resistant to losing weight with her body fighting her all the way). All this leads me to conclude "it's just that it's so darn hard, and who really wants to get all sweaty anyway, so I'll have surgery." The article quotes her as saying she's unwilling to face life as an adult overweight, but rather than hitting the gym consistently and eating healthy in consultation with professionals, this kid, with a parent's endorsement no less, has gone under the knife because she's a few extra pounds overweight. The surgery itself cost her (and more accurately, likely, her parents) $16,000. Money which could fund her education, given her a solid start in life.

And a parent is standing by saying "oh it'll be great for her." When did the easy way out become so acceptable? When did "a few pounds overweight" become such a problem that people would deal with by endangering their lives with surgery? This to me is an abdication of parental responsibility. Rather than saying "hey we can do this together" she says "hey why don't we get matching bands on our stomachs and the weight will just fall off itself." You read that right, mom apparently also has a few extra pounds and elected to have the same surgery herself.

I'll be the first to admit losing weight isn't a piece of cake (For the record I actually found the lack of cake quite disconcerting in the whole weight loss process) but it's do-able and maintaining a healthy body is a skill people should have at all sizes and ages. Not to sound like some overly enthusiastic gym teacher, think of the self-esteem this girl could build improving her strength, doing well at sports, achieving goals from hard work and learning some self discipline. Instead, she has a device that causes her body to tell her she's full before she actually is and will lose weight by sheer lack of calorie consumption. I wonder if the popular girls will like her even when her hair is falling out because she hasn't been able to get enough vitamins absorbed from the food she eats.

What are we as a society teaching this girl? What makes it okay to tell her that rather than getting her heart in shape, looking after her body, and learning proper nutrition and exercise, she should really just take the easy way out and get a little band in her stomach. Is she really better dead on an operating table than fat? Why does "fat" carry such a strong social stigma people would rather risk death than be considered it? Why has she grown up to think that losing weight will allow her to get along with the popular girls and all the boys will like her? How can a few extra pounds be so awful that surgery is a risk she'll take? At seventeen can she even really be charged to make such a decision?

Anyone else troubled by this? I hope it's not just me.