Paltry poultry ponderings

Hmm a non-fluff post? Yeah I'm probably a long time overdue for that. (and, for the record, I'm not promising that after reading this you'll think it wasn't fluffy)

So, I'll share. I've been a vegetarian for ... hrm let me count, about 8 1/2 years.

In the interest of full disclosure I will tell you I do eat some seafood, which will kick me out of the "vegetarian" club according to some (and fairly enough), but I found "vegetarian" easier than explaining "ovo lacto pesce vegetarian" to waiters.

Other than the whole seafood thing, I'm pretty strict. Won't eat stuff with chicken fat, and yes, I do consider gravy to be meat (though lemme tell ya, a big smothering hot bowl of poutine sounds WICKED good right about now) unlike some veggies I know.

I'm also not a bagel-and-pasta vegetarian. I make sure I get my B vitamins and enough protein. (but I will admit my diet lately? sucky.)

I started being veggie after taking a course called the theory and practice of nonviolence in my undergrad. It was a religious studies course, and one I really enjoyed. Got me thinking kinda course. Essentially, the idea is that you get to thinking about violence in the world around us, which included discussing meat and violence toward animals.

Despite being the granddaughter of cattle and hog farmers (yes, really), I never really ate a whole lot of meat. My mum is a wicked (like really should be a chef) cook and always made a huge variety of food, and it wasn't all "meat-and-potatoes with a side of vegetables that have had the crap boiled out of them" when I was a kid.

My decision to go veggie was based on a lot of things - environmental impact, high intensity factory farms, the health issues that go along with meat including the antibiotics and growth hormones given to animals and, of course, the cute fuzzy animal part. I'm guessing anyone who's read my blog for more than 15 seconds may have figured out I'm an animal person. We're numbered 2:1 in this house (4 animals, 2 people). I used to have a boyfriend whose parents were chicken farmers, and was recruited to move them between barns. This is done by picking them up by their feet and plunking a whack of them into a tiny cage. Um, not so nice.

I don't debate it with people, cause it's a personal choice. I'm not interested in converting anyone to become veggie. It was a personal choice for me, and that's about all I say when people question me about it.

I should be clear, too. It wasn't that I didn't like meat, it was that I stopped eating it.

Lately? (Well, more than lately, more like for the past year) I've been craving chicken. Like crazy. I can even recall the exact moment when I started really craving it. A former co-worker of mine in Ottawa had brought her lunch and was nuking some chicken in the kitchen. Like Tucan Sam on the fruit loops commercials I actually followed my nose from my office to find the smell. When I realized it was chicken I kinda scratched my head and said "hm well guess that's the end of that" and went back to my office. It really hasn't stopped since then.

I should also explain that when I get a craving it's very specific, and I get pretty crusty if I don't get it. (no, not pregnant, no plans for that anytime soon, thanks for asking) I'm weird I know, but it drives me bonkers when I really want some specific food and can't have it. Said cravings frequently involve candy, which is a large part of why I have muffin-top-itis. But, I digress (what else is new?).

I've been having this craving for chicken pretty much for a year. A freaking year, which, is essentially a geological time scale amount of time for me. And? It's not going away.

I've tried satiating it by having the "chicken-less chicken" type soy products including breaded broccoli and cheese stuffed chicken-less stuff, and even soy chicken strips in my quesedillas (which, by the way, are wicked). But? They don't cut it.

At dinner on Saturday night I found myself secretly hoping Dave would order the risotto which had mushrooms and chicken so I could just try a tiny nibble of chicken. (he didn't) After 8 1/2 years I actually don't remember what it tastes like.

I could justify eating chicken again by saying "if I'm craving it it probably means I need more protein or something" or that I have reduced my environmental impact by stopping eating meat altogether for a period of time, which is good, and maybe I can find a local organic farmer who could sell me some chicken boobies. That would solve at least some of my concerns about meat. But really? I'm having trouble with this. (yes I realize I'm lucky this is something I worry about, given how many people have WAY more important and serious things to be worried about in the world right now, like eating at all)

I'm not sure that even if it were sitting right there in front of me that I could bring myself to try chicken again.

So there ya go. A twisted, and convoluted look into Heather's brain. Ignore the cobwebs, they're part of the charm.

Any advice? Any former veggies who started eating meat again? It even annoys me how conflicted I am over this.