Rant of a candy starved woman

I was inspired to write this blog after ho-humming trying to figure out what to blog for over a week. Now something's happened that makes me full of vim and vinegar. So here goes.

I think that there should be strictly enforced standards about chocolate. Chocolate which is of crappy standards should not be allowed to be called chocolate.

It's awful to try a little office candy at this time of year and think "mmm some lovely chocolate to get me through the day" and when you bite into it your anticipation is betrayed by something that tastes like a refined, hydrogenated mealy, waxy gross ball. Who wants to eat refined, hydrogenated, mealy, waxy balls?

Now, I realize there is a variance in tastes when it comes to chocolate (to me the more bitter and higher the cocoa content, the better), and I don't mean to impose my taste on anyone else, I just don't think chocolate below a certain standard should be allowed to call itself chocolate. It gives good chocolate a bad name. I propose we call the crappy chocolate something else. Maybe Mock-late (of Friends fame), maybe fake-olate, or "brown waxy goodness" but not the real thing. No way should the name of good chocolate be marred by cheap, low quality imitations.

Confessional:

I've debated whether I should post this, still not sure I should. Ok, here goes: I have recently had access to a large supply of those rockets candies leftover from Hallowe’en. Now, I don’t really like them - they’re basically little circles of sugar and food colouring compressed together, they’re definitely not good for you, and yet I can’t seem to stop eating them.

I have a ritual when I eat them. I don’t do this with M&Ms, or smarties, or any other coloured candy, just rockets.

First I open the package and do it one of two ways, based on the variety in the packet.

If the package is dominated by one colour then I to eat the ones that aren’t that colour first. If there is just one of a particular colour, I eat it, and eat the rest in the order of the number of them left. For example, the pack I have right now is mostly white and pink ones. I ate the other colours until it was just pink and white ones. Once I’m down to just two colours I eat which ever ones will make it so there is an even number of pink and white ones left, then eat them alternating between the two colours.

The other way is when there isn’t one or two colours that dominate the package. With those ones, I make groupings in rainbow colours of all of them, and eat the ones that don’t fit into a complete grouping first, and rainbow ones last.

Why on earth would I do this? Am I the lone loonie that does it? This is a whole lot more crazy than just eating the red smarties last, isn’t it?