Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Am both disturbed by and laughing at the following

So I haven't felt like posting much lately. Nothing's wrong - in fact things are great, I just haven't been too bloggy of late. I'm sure I'll be back soon enough to regale you with tales of my none-too-exciting life, but in the meantime, check out what the site meter dragged in. People actually found my blog using these keywords.

rub and tug durham region
: Sure, I even know the address! Just turn yourself in, uh, I mean, go to, 77 centre street north in Oshawa and they'd be happy to help! I hear they give great ones there.

how to paint stairway: Well, uh, I'd recommend using a brush, or roller, and paint. If not, hire someone.

children hearing things that are not said: You mean like those dog whistles? That only dogs can hear? Do children have frequencies only they can hear? Oh wait! maybe this a philosophical question, about the zen nature of children hearing things that are unsaid? Spiritual? Hah you can tell I sucked at philosophy (but kept taking more courses for some unknown and unexplainable reason) in undergrad.

neo citran can damage due baby if i pregnant: I'm not sure about the side effects of neo citran, but I am positive that bad sentence structure is a serious threat to fetuses.

died from his hemmorrhoids: I guess it's possible... but probably only if you spell hemmorrhoid right, so I'd guess you're safe. But see a doctor just in case. Whatever you do, please note they aren't really considered polite dinner conversation when company is over.

bridesmaid dress for over wait people: Dresses for the impatient? This is what I need. I have the patience of a fruit fly and the attention span of a gnat.

show how husband chewing her partners breasts in bed room: I'd like to think the person who googled this has an "english as a second language" issue going on here, because chewing just doesn't sound like it'd end in anything but "husband" next googling "treatment for very sore testicles."

sonotube cat: No idea what you would feed it, but it'd probably be cheaper to feed than Rhett, though not nearly as affectionate.

can fingerprints be found on christmas trees: I don't want to know what this person did to need to know the answer to that, but if you remember the movie fargo, then remember all is cleansed in a wood chipper.


roro said...

hahahaha! Excellent. I haven't felt very blogalicious these days either and now you've inspired me. Thank you Heather - thank you. You are the wind beneath my wings.

SUEB0B said...

I am imagining someone dusting the xmas tree for prints...strange

lindsay said...

Hahahahahahaha! This makes me wish that msn spaces had this feature. The Internet is scary business.

TB said...

It really, really makes you wonder about the individual situations that led up to each of these searches doesn't it? It's a little scary to think that these people exist out in the world and we run into them every day without knowing.

Nancy said...

"Children hearing things that are not said" -- is that like a tree falling in the forest when no one is there to hear it?

(glad you're OK, I was just thinking this morning that I hadn't seen an update from you lately and hoping all was well...)

Robin said...

Those are funny!

kittenpie said...

Note when painting stairways - paint your way from top[ to bottom! Just a hint...

and? Could you really bleed out from hemorrhoids? Ew.

velocibadgergirl said...

"I'm not sure about the side effects of neo citran, but I am positive that bad sentence structure is a serious threat to fetuses."

HA!! I heart you. :D