Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Round two with Toothless Mary

The three regular readers of this blog may or may not recall our earlier incident wherein another dog owner we've decided to name Toothless Mary, has the unendingly annoying habit of walking her dog on a 40 foot rope so that anyone around will be tripped by it or have their pants ruined. I happened to have been a victim a few weeks ago.

So tonight, while I discussed the finer points of making lawyers cry with Sara, lawyer extraordinaire, Dave went to the dog park with our dogs, nicknamed by us Captains Wanderpants and Spazzo respectively. No, that's really not their names, but it's more fun for the purposes of the story.

Wanderpants, as his name suggests, has a habit of buggering off despite clear instruction to the contrary. This includes the low toned "get back here!" which I think he hears to mean "waah wah wah whaaah wah" just like the teacher in Charlie Brown. Borzoi as a breed really could give a rat's ass about what you think. They're not like the lab in temperament who are only too thrilled to take the opportunity to please their owner. It's like training cats. Most things you say to them are taken as "suggestions." (Yes, we should put more effort into it, Yes they're worth it, Yes, we're bad dog owners.)

The dog park itself is basically a conservation area with trails through it, so you're traveling around different meadows, with trees on one side or all around you. The whole idea of the park is to get them both socialization and exercise. They really need to get a good run in every day, and the park is perfect for it.

Unfortunately, Wanderpants has been especially wanterpants-ey of late. He often sees a chipmunk, squirrel, or a leaf wafting on the wind that he finds particularly interesting and will bolt after it. They're sighthounds, that's what they do. His brother Spazzo is less wanderpants inclined.

So, tonight at the park Wanderpants starts with this "chase possibly inanimate object into deep recesses of the dog park forest" routine and Dave yells "GET BACK HERE" after him.

No response.

Dave decides a new trick to yell "SIT" given the underwhelming success "get back here" seems to garnish.

All of a sudden a light bright enough to illuminate the deep recesses of hell must have gone off in Wanderpants' brain and this 100 lb dog who normally takes a few seconds to hover his bum to the ground because of the length of his legs throws bum to ground so fast he skids on the forest floor several feet, and leaves are stuck to his bum fur. Victory!

Dave then goes into the forest, comes out with a leashed dog and on they continue.

Up ahead though is our nemesis, Toothless Mary. (dun dun dun!) She again has her husky on a 40 foot rope trailing behind, just waiting to trip unsuspecting people and ruin their pants. We're both avid non-smokers, so when he sees her light one up he decides not to catch up to the group, and just walks behind with Wanderpants on the leash, and Spazzo playing with the other dogs.

Dave oh so passive aggressively decides to position the leashed Wanderpants so that he frequently is stepping on Toothless Mary's rope, which she is bothering to hold this time. (Before she'd just left it to dangle rather uselessly.) Now, every few feet Wanderpants steps on the rope, jerking it back in her arm.

The dirty looks Toothless Mary shot at him, combined with the hilarity of the "sit" incident will leave a smile on his face for at least the next 24 hours.


Sara said...

Good thing she didn't smile at him.
Sounds like it'd be a frightening encounter.

Want me to come make her cry?

TB said...

Ah, I'll never get tired of Toothless Mary stories.

And I love the new design.

Heather said...

Sara: She's got summer teeth for sure.

TB: If Dave has his way there'll be several more rounds. As for the design it's really me just mucking around. I have no HTML skills so I'm muddling through as best I can. Thanks!

Mrs. Chicky said...

To all the Toothless Marys of the world - I hate you. Get your dog a decent leash.

I liked your comparison of Borzois (and sight hounds in general) to cats. They're really not that different, are they? They both like to expel frantic bits of energy in short bursts and then sleep all day.

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

I just loved your story of your dogs & Toothless Mary...You are such a colorful writer and make your posts so interesting and funny.

I also liked the story of Mr.& Mrs. Snobby from Toronto looking for a historical place with a large dining area for their VIP friends.

Thanks for visiting over at my place. I always enjoy hearing from new bloggers.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Those clotheslines so many people use on city streets, even, are ridiculous. Have a little consideration for others, people, whether or not you, yourself, favor teeth.

Borzois are among the most beautiful of dogs. I prefer big dogs, but have never had this particular breed running my life. Yet.