'Shwa tidbits

Yeah the humidity here made it feel like 48 degrees outside today (118.4F for you Fahrenheit people). Without the humidity it was a mild 38 (100.4F). Pretty sure I could've baked a cake in my car while I was at work today. Mmm cake. Stupid afterthoughts.

If this weather keeps up I think my slurpee habit will get outta control.

We're getting married in T-25 days. I hope the weather is nicer by then. The slurpee habit is probably not helping me with the whole "wear low back wedding dress" thing I planned for myself. Hah what was I thinking? Ah well, too late now!


Oh and the chickie doing my make-up for the wedding? I called the other night to touch base. She's a friend of my mum's friend. I kinda figure it'd be a good idea to get a trial run lest it look like I was shot by the make-up gun Homer invented on the Simpsons.



The call goes something like this:

Me: Hi! May I speak to [make-up chickie]

Male voice: Hi Heather! Uh she's not here right now.

Me: [baffled. no idea how dude knows my name. Ok it's probably caller id but dude! that's freaky! Why is this random dude knowing my name and acting like we're buddies.] Oh, okay. Is there a more convenient time I could call her back?

Male voice: Yeah hi, it's Paul. She's just stepped out to get some dinner for the family. [young kids screaming in background, I look at my watch. Yeah it's 9:30 at night. I'd be screaming too if I hadn't had dinner]

Me: [still baffled. no idea who Paul dude is.] Uh... ok

Paul: Actually I know you. Remember me? [hmm not ringing any bells] I'm a friend of Bob's. We went to high school together.

Me: [Ok I'll bite. Hamster wheel in head turning, picking up speed. Who the hell is this Paul dude who knows me from high school through Bob? .... Heeeeeey! Wait just a freaking minute! YOU'RE THE GUY WHO USED TO STALK ME IN HIGH SCHOOL. You used to show up randomly at my work until my bosses would ask you to leave! You used to call my house all the time after I told you not to call! You used to come up behind me in the hall and tickle me and scare the crap out of me. I used to elbow you in the groin/ribs for doing it! You used to come over and sit with me on the bus and I'd change seats! Gah you still sound creepy! I should've had you charged with criminal harassment!] Oh right! Paul. How are you doing?

Paul: Sooooooo I hear you're getting married. [and he said married like maaaa-reeeeed, like you did in public school to tease someone]

Me: [yeah! and not to you, captain insane-o!] Yeah I am. [oh man why do things like this happen to me?]. Really looking forward to it.

Paul: Me? [Make-up chickie and I] have three kids. [yeah I figured it was either kids or a pack of rabid hyenas at a kill site in the background]

Me: Oh. That's great. Good for you. They sound like a lot of fun [or that they may in fact had just moved on to decapitating each other in very close proximity to the phone. Seriously. Someone feed these kids. It sounds like they're starting playing that Mayan ball game where the winning team loses their heads in some sort of ritual sacrifice]

Paul: so what are you doing now?

Me: Oh just working, that kinda stuff. No kids.

Paul: I work at [a factory known, oddly enough, for sexual harassment] building [things].

Me: Oh that's great. Good for you. [awkward pause] So is there a good time I can reach [make-up chickie]?

Paul: Uh yeah. She should be back soon.

Me: Ok I'll try her again later! thanks!

[click]


I haven't called her back.

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Ceiling? Almost de-wallpapered. Go Dave!