Friday, December 02, 2005

Rant of a candy starved woman

I was inspired to write this blog after ho-humming trying to figure out what to blog for over a week. Now something's happened that makes me full of vim and vinegar. So here goes.

I think that there should be strictly enforced standards about chocolate. Chocolate which is of crappy standards should not be allowed to be called chocolate.

It's awful to try a little office candy at this time of year and think "mmm some lovely chocolate to get me through the day" and when you bite into it your anticipation is betrayed by something that tastes like a refined, hydrogenated mealy, waxy gross ball. Who wants to eat refined, hydrogenated, mealy, waxy balls?

Now, I realize there is a variance in tastes when it comes to chocolate (to me the more bitter and higher the cocoa content, the better), and I don't mean to impose my taste on anyone else, I just don't think chocolate below a certain standard should be allowed to call itself chocolate. It gives good chocolate a bad name. I propose we call the crappy chocolate something else. Maybe Mock-late (of Friends fame), maybe fake-olate, or "brown waxy goodness" but not the real thing. No way should the name of good chocolate be marred by cheap, low quality imitations.

2 comments:

Rob said...

The problem is that everyone's standards for chocolate are wildly variable. My wife likes sweet and smooth milk chocolate but hates most other types. I despite all chocolate and apparently most Americans and Europeans are completely at odds about what makes good chocolate. Apparently across the pond chocolate is generally much less sweet than us silly Americans eat. Now, if they would invent chocolate that tasted like a steak, I'd sign up for that... :)

Happy blogging.

Heather said...

Well I'm veggie so I'll decline the "chocolate that tastes like a steak" but the stuff in my office, I'm pretty sure would universally be despised the world around.

It barely tastes like chocolate at all. In fact, I'd venture to say the stuff in my office is more reminiscent of crayons than choclate of any variety.